Plastic Surgery Disasters

Several years ago I dropped a skinhead on my foot, and lost a toenail. I have not cut that nail in...6 years now? Jeez. Anyway, last night I decided to remedy the situation via surgery, since this is the main impediment to getting me into ski boots (the other main impediment can be cured by laying on the floor and repeatedly thrusting my shoulders toward the ceiling, which doesn't happen with any regularity).

The surgery went about as well as could be expected. I think I need one of those saws they use to take plaster casts off which cut plaster but not flesh, I bet they work on keratin too, or maybe one of these:

During:

Gave up: