Moc se mi přání, jsem věděl, že české právo, které nyní

Tonight I really wish I knew Czech. I just had a whole conversation via Google Translate and it was less than satisfying. Here's the backstory:

A few months ago, a couple of guys who were up to no good started making trouble in my neighborhood. They started using one of my machines to scan for vulnerable hosts and make them into botnet Command and Control servers. An IRCd was installed and used, and logged. Why do these morons go to all this trouble to install IRC surreptitiously, and then leave logging on... Anyway, it was the typical Eastern European mix of mainly Romanian, Czech, Lithuanian types. Strangely they seemed to be talking about fishing, and many of their handles indicated Bass club membership.

So I picked what looked like the person who installed all this, and googled. I found one name that matched the handle and had an IM attached, so I IM'd them. It was something like "I'm not that pissed, I just want to make sure I got you guys all cleaned out". I'm not one of those "OMGWTF Call the FBI guys", if someone gets in, it's my fault, and I'll fix it, but anyway, I wanted to start some dialog for whatever reason.

The thing is...I ended up getting random foreign language IMs for the next few weeks. After the user accepted me as a "buddy", their profile indicated they're like 19 and female, and I have found nothing to indicate otherwise.

So tonight I decided to write back (translations by Google, don't blame me I can't speak Czech):

12:14:35 PM sek: ahoj jakpak se mas ("Hi, how are you?")
8:00:26 PM sek: ahojik jak je ze nespis ("Ahojik [thanks google, for that], as from sleep". I'm guessing they just came back online)
8:07:03 PM xrayspx: (http://translate.google.com)
8:07:03 PM xrayspx: Já jsem dobře. Myslím, že mám špatnou adresu pro ICQ ("I am well, I think I have the wrong address for ICQ for you")
8:07:51 PM xrayspx: Pokud jste skutečně rozbil v mém počítači. ("Unless you actually broke into my machine")
:-)
8:07:51 PM sek: jak to proc ("As to why"?, probably "WTF")
8:08:30 PM xrayspx: Moc se mi přání, jsem věděl, že české právo, které nyní ("I really wish I knew Czech right now")

I think that went more or less spectacularly well for neither of us speaking the other's language. Anyway, I'll see if she (?) ever bothers to IM me again, I'll try and get my translations happening faster and try and verify them against something else with English -> Czech translations. Babelfish doesn't do it.

The only thing I really gained from any of this is that we seem to share "Ahoy" with the Czech language, and it's still in active use there. And it makes me think of C. Montgomery Burns answering a phone, "Ahoy-hoy", which was apparently kicked around as an "official polite phone answering technique" Back in the Day. ---minutes later--- Holy shit, Wikipedia proves me right. Apparently it became a popular greeting in eastern Europe via Germany and remains so. Fun.